Myths About Dating That Men Are Told That Perpetuate Rape Culture

“Negging Works.” The fact that some men think it’s okay to verbally abuse and insult girls in order to get laid just tells you how warped our culture is. By the way: this tactic doesn’t work.

“Real Men Pay For Everything.” This is a subtle tradition that tends to feed into rape culture because it’s implied that the woman owes him in return. No one is owed sex under any condition, but the fact is that most women can recall at least one moment where a guy threw a fit after being rejected once he paid a bill.

“Girls Don’t Like Nice Guys.” Actually, genuinely nice men tend to be the first off the market. The problem is that men feel like they need to be fake-nice in order to get laid, and that leads to women rejecting them. This in turn leads to men feeling slighted, because they were JUST. SO. NICE. Then, they lash out at women in rage - or even threaten them with rape. Need we say any more?

“Girls Only Want Money.” This basically objectifies women and also makes them “the other.” Thinking this way turns dating from a series of “let’s get to know one another” moments to a “them versus us” game. Healthy relationships don’t involve sex for money, or generalizations about women.

“All Women Are Like That…” Once again, this puts the onus on girls to make guys feel better. It also turns the atmosphere into a “men versus women” atmosphere rather than a “people just trying to make things happen” atmosphere.

“Women Want Dominant Men.” The problem with this advice is that people get dominant confused with domineering. It quickly turns into men feeling like they have to be bullies in order to get laid.

“If She Smokes, She Pokes.” Any advice that basically tells men to seek out girls who act or dress a certain way in order to guarantee a lay promotes rape culture. Even if she’s wearing a bikini, she is not “asking for it.”

“Have Fun With A Slut. Then, Find Ms. Right.” Slut-shaming once again says that men are right for having sex, but women are wrong. Rather than seeing women with experience as bad, we should all agree that this kind of advice is bull.

“Men And Women Can’t Be Friends.” No, we can. It’s true - platonic friendships do exist. The problem with this advice is that it once again puts the burden on women to guard themselves against unwanted advances and also basically insinuates that a woman is “asking for it” if she has a male friend.

“Have You Tried Getting More Aggressive With Her?” We’ve all seen movies where the guy is sexually aggressive and makes the girl swoon. In real life, this usually terrifies the girl into staying silent. What ends up happening if guys get overly aggressive is often sexual assault or rape.

“Awesome! You Scored!” The increased pressure men face to have sex these days is insane. By insinuating that having sex makes you more respectable, you’re subtly encouraging men to have sex under any means necessary at times. This, therefore, promotes rape culture.

“Grab Her Ass!” Do we even have to explain this one?

For some reason, fewer and fewer men actually seem to understand women - or understand how to be respectful of someone who isn’t male. Much of the problem can be blamed on rape culture, a pervasive set of commonly held beliefs that make it seem okay to tolerate or excuse sexual violence and sexism. Many of the reasons why men perpetuate rape culture is because they buy into a lot of myths that people have about dating. Some of these even seem pretty innocuous until you actually understand the issues that they begin to cultivate. Here are some dating myths men often believe, and why they perpetuate rape culture.What do you think of the things that perpetuate rape culture? Let us know in the comments section below.

“50 No’s And A Yes Is Still A Yes.” You can thank crappy romantic comedies for this pearl, folks. Men are taught that being persistent despite how frequently they are rejected by a single girl will eventually get them laid. The truth is that eventually, girls will get worn down and consent just so that the guy will leave him alone. This isn’t real consent - it’s rape.

“Girls Love Being Catcalled.” Guys think some girls see it as a compliment. We don’t. Catcalling only makes women feel threatened and feel like they need to hide their bodies in order to stop feeling objectified.

“If You’re Nice To A Girl, She’ll Eventually Sleep With You.” Thank rom-coms once more. This commonly used trope doesn’t work in real life because it doesn’t take into account whether or not a girl is attractive. This leads guys to believing that they are entitled to sex if they are nice to a girl or pretend to be her friend.