From Princeton To Prostitution: How I Graduated Into Sex Work

Not only has the way we look at sex workers changed in recent years but our definition of a sex worker has changed as well.  A sex worker used to just refer to adult film stars and prostitutes but there are now many different job descriptions that can fall under the umbrella definition.  The people who are doing sex work have also changed.  There used to be many assumptions about what kind of people fall into the line of work.  That too is changing.  This story shows just how much.  From Princeton to prostitution: How I graduated into sex work.

Tessi. Tessie Coil was graduating from Princeton and searching for an post-college job. She’d read that it was a good idea to look for jobs that involved the things she enjoyed doing for free. One thing she enjoyed doing for free happened to be dating.

Tessi now. Now Tessi refers to herself as "a prostitute, sugar c***, sex worker, whatever. I don’t give a f*** about labels.” For professional purposes, she generally refers to herself as a dating coach and former sugar baby.

Money. The Tab interviewed Tessi about her job as a sugar baby. The first question they asked was the most obvious, how much did she make. "Oh, not enough. I charged about $500 per meeting, depending on where I was. I really didn’t make that much money, I made rent for a summer, I made enough to live off for a few months in San Francisco but ultimately it wasn’t any more lucrative than any other job.”

Gifts. Apparently, she didn't receive many gifts. She told The Tab, "It wasn’t like, ‘Here’s some Manolo Blahniks and a Prada handbag and $1500 and all you have to do is suck my d**k,’ like no. That’s not how it works. It’s another f***ing job… I mean it’s literally the same as any other business."

Sex life vs. baby life. Tessi also told The Tab about her sex life on campus, which she admits was pretty promiscuous. She said, "I’ve definitely learned a lot about the mechanics of sex. And it definitely made me better at autopilot sex and sex that I got paid for. It definitely made me better at it. [Laughing] That was the most practical training I received at Princeton was how to suck d***."

Sugar daddy We’ve all heard the term “sugar daddy” before, but do we actually know what it means? Accoding to Meriam Webster, a sugar daddy is " a well-to-do usually older man who supports or spends lavishly on a mistress, girlfriend, or boyfriend.”

Sugar baby. However, a “sugar baby” is the other half of that equation, the lavish mistress in the definition provided by Merriam Webster. Nowadays, Sugar Daddys and Babys fall under the sex work umbrella.

Arrangement. Seeking Arrangement is a website that puts together Sugar Babies and Daddies. According to them, an arrangement is "where people are direct with one another and stop wasting time. It allows people to immediately define what they need and want in a relationship. Our profiles allow members to effortlessly state their expectations. This is what we like to call 'Relationships on Your Terms.' ”

Babies and Daddies. The site also has its own definition of sugar daddies and babies. A daddy: "Successful men and women who know what they want. They’re driven, and enjoy attractive company by their side. Money isn’t an issue, thus they are generous when it comes to supporting a Sugar Baby.” And Babies: Attractive people looking for the finer things in life. They appreciate exotic trips and gifts. Sugar Babies get to experience a luxurious lifestyle, and meet wealthy people on a regular basis.

What My Price. "Some arrangement sites shroud themselves under the guise of dating. What’s My Price is a website that allows men to offer women money in order to date them. Although they refer to themselves as a dating site, some would call it an arrangement. Others would call it out and out prostitution. “

The work. According to Tessi, the work was quite similar to any other job, much less about sex and more about networking and building relationships, so to speak. She told The Coil, "If I had built up enough of a client base to get really good referrals and been able to work entirely on my own instead of using a website as a portal, then yeah, I’m sure that I would have been able to move up to the point where I’m doing a lot less work for a lot more money. But that’s the same as every other profession I just really didn’t feel like putting in the work in that area.”

Creep factor. As you’d imagine, sex work involves some amount of creep factor. One man Tessi met lied about all of his personal information, while interrogating her about her birthday and other information. She went to his apartment and played “abusive father and obedient-but-scared daughter.” He would bathe her with baby soap and powder her butt and tell her “there is much love in abuse.” Turned out he was working on a book called "The Baby doll Murders." When she left he texted her, “I want you to do this because you love me.” She never saw him again.

Response. Tessi apparently received some backlash after the original article outing her as a Sugar baby was published by Vice. She told The Tab, "I think it’s funny that people are like, 'This is a waste of a Princeton education.' It’s like, 'OK that’s incredibly judgmental.' Like, ‘You don’t need any well-educated whores.’ I mean honestly my clients would probably argue that you do.”

Prostitution. This begs the obvious question, is it prostitution? According to Seeking Arrangement, the answer is no and there are many differences. For instance "A prostitute and a client have a transactional relationship. They meet, exchange funds, and participate in some sort of physical act and part ways. Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies have on-going relationships, not transactions. “