Not every relationship is going to be a textbook example of a relationship. That is to say, not every relationship is going to follow the traditional "lover's path." Some people prefer walking a very different road together. Such is the case for swinging couples. To some people, these people are simply outrageous. They can't wrap their heads around sharing their partners with someone else, so the very idea alone scares them. As it turns out, this sexy trend may offer more strengths than weaknesses — if you can believe it. Keep reading to find out how swinging can made you better lovers and better parents.
Other people. When partners say they want to see other people, this is basically an emotional death sentence. It’s over. The interest that was once strong in their relationship has now withered away, and they want something fresh. However, this isn’t always the case, especially when the feeling is mutual and the love is still strong — and my husband and I are proof of that.
Swinging. So, how can a relationship possibly work if both partners want to fool around with other people? The answer is simple — swinging. I had obviously heard of swinging before I ever gave it a chance, but it scared the hell out of me. I love my husband just as much as I did the first day I met him, so being with someone else was just… wrong.
Natural interests. Now, even though I love my husband and would never want to be with anyone else, that’s not to say that I never fantasized about anyone else. Because of course I have. Everyone does! Naturally, I assumed that he felt the same way. The thing is, though, I just never thought of why I’d have to bring something like that up with him.
Shown the swinging ways. One night, my husband and I were watching some show that was covering swinging. I honestly don’t remember if it was the news or a reality show or what, but that’s irrelevant. The point is, it put the thought in our minds, and it made us think about it whether we wanted to or not.
Acting on the cue. What’s funny is that, before I could even mention anything (not sure I ever would have, though, to be honest), my husband brought it up. He asked if I had any friends who were swingers (I said no), and then he asked if I had ever thought about trying it (I just laughed). But the laugh was just an awkward response because I had thought about it.
Making decisions. I’ll save you the boring time it took for us to finally have enough conversations before we finally started to consider it, but we eventually got to that point. We made a mutual decision that we at least wanted to give swinging a shot. It just took some trial runs before we really made it happen.
Threesomes and sex parties. First, we had a threesome. We wanted to see what our jealousy levels would like with someone else in the bedroom with us. What surprised us was how natural it felt. It was just fun. There was nothing else to it. Then, we went to a sex party. Also… not as strange as it seems.
Going for it. Finally, we went for it. We met a couple who was interested (we met over Tinder, actually), and we planned an evening when it would happen. At first, it was awkward. That night, we had to figure out who was going where and when we’d “reconvene,” etc. But we eventually figured it out.
Swingers. As of this day, I wouldn’t say we swing regularly, but it’s fairly common. It just happens when we’re in the mood. Our sex lives with each other is incredible, but when we want to give someone else a try, we talk it over, discuss the details, and then we make it happen. It’s really that simple.
The surprising benefits. Now, there’s definitely going to be some people judging us for our lifestyles, but that’s OK. I get it. It seems strange. But that’s OK. Everybody’s got their opinion, and I’m OK with that. However, I wish people would be more open to these kinds of things because, honestly, I have found so many more benefits in swinging than just exploring my sexuality. It’s helped my family.
My man. As for the effect that it’s had on my marriage, it couldn’t be more positive. My husband and I have always been close, but ever since we’ve started swinging, we’re on another level of closeness. It’s done nothing but help us in every way you can imagine. Even though it’s difficult to explain how.
Trust. Ever since we’ve started swinging, my husband and I are ridiculously close. We just trust each other. Even though I know he’s had sex with other women, I’m confident that he hasn’t broken any of our rules. I’m confident that he’s still in love with me. And I’m confident that he trusts me just as much.
Openness. I don’t think I’ve ever been the kind of parent who would stifle my kids if they were interested in something I didn’t understand, but I can definitely say that since my swinging days have started, I feel like I understand them more. They’re into things that I don’t understand, but now I’m way more likely to let them more explorative and adventurous.
A new appreciation. When you get a new perspective, you gain a new appreciation for things. At least, that’s what happened with me. I didn’t need swinging to prove that I loved my kids, obviously, but it’s made me an all around more positive person, and it’s definitely had an effect on how I parent. I’ve been way less uptight than usual. I’m pretty much my hippie mom now — which I never would have expected haha.
Giving it a shot. I personally think the worst thing you can do as a human is not experimenting. We’re meant to reach further than where we are. We’re meant to explore. So why do so many people hold themselves back, especially when there are so many perks? I’m not saying you should swing if you don’t want to, but I would recommend to not be so eager to say “no.”
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