You can tell if you’re having sex with a decent human being. It’s true. As you may have guessed the way a person has sex says a lot about them. Their moves and their sexual approach can reveal their personality traits, and possibly their most negative characteristics. Here is how you tell if the person you’re banging is an overall good person.
Go Downtown. If they go down on you. This means they aren’t selfish, they aim to please. Refusal can be mean they’re a germophobe or simply rude, if they were already on the receiving end earlier in the night. Nice people don’t take if they’re not willing to give.
Selfless. You shouldn’t have to force them either. They should want to give their partner pleasure, and if they don’t it’s VERY telling about what kind of person and lover they are. I believe the term is selfish lover.
Foreplay. Additionally, they engage in some foreplay. They don’t just throw down at the drop of a hat and then leave. They take the time to set the mood, and get things going. A sleazy metaphor: They get the gears grinding so to speak. This means they know how sex works and aren’t going to give a poor performance in the bedroom and in life. They know when to take their time.
Caring. If they seem to be going through the motions, not really giving a shit about if you're enjoying it or into it, then that’s not great. If they look at you for cues and genuinely care if you’re enjoying yourself then that’s great. This means they care a little bit. This is good.
Selfless. Sex doesn’t just revolve around their orgasm. So if they finish and you haven’t, sex isn’t over. A fake orgasm isn’t enough to satisfy them, they want you to have an equally enjoyable experience. If they understand that the best sex is when both people are getting off, then that’s a good sign of inner humanity within them.
Pleasers. It also signifies that they don’t think of you as an object. They get pleasure from your pleasure, which is always a good sign. Additionally, this might mean that they give thoughtful gifts at Christmas time.
Consent. HUGE ONE. They make sure they have your full consent. They won’t continue unless they know you’re alert, engaged and want to be there. This is a good sign because it generally means they aren’t a rapist-- to put it bluntly.
Compliments. They are full of compliments and adoration. Even if they aren’t verbally complimenting you during sex, they have a way of making you feel good. You feel desired, wanted and sexy. Decent people want the person they're with to know they’re amazing.
Caring. They will genuinely want to know if you enjoyed yourself. Did you finish? If not, why? What can they do? A decent person cares about the satisfaction of more than just themselves when the deed is done.
Caring. A decent person also doesn’t take a blow to their ego if you didn’t finish. They don’t get grumpy or offensive or take it as a personal attack. They simply know that maybe next time YOU BOTH try something different.
Caring. They will listen to your wants and needs in the bedroom. Caring in the sex department ultimately means caring in other departments. A person who cares will about your opinions, dreams and making sure you aren’t hungry.
Open. An openness to feedback is crucial a decent person. They absorb feedback like a sponge. Any critique is taken positively, and without defense or offense. They are like “cool, good note.” Even if they don’t agree, they will try to understand why. They will walk in your shoes or at least try.
Open. They are just open, even if they aren’t open they will tell you they aren’t open. You don’t have to be evasive if all you’re looking for is sex. The decent human being is upfront and honest. They don’t deceive their sexual partners and they don’t deceive their employers-- good people.
Safety. Decent human beings also make sure everyone is safe. They make sure contraceptives are worn and both parties feel comfortable. This could also mean they help their elderly neighbor take her pills or care for sick animals in their spare time. You never know.
Selfish. Basically if anyone is a selfish lover in any way, shape or form-- it probably means they aren’t that great of a person outside the bedroom either. They probably cut in line and never call their moms. So, save yourself the trouble and don’t ignore the signs.
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