Things Women Wish Straight Men Understood About Performing Oral Sex On Straight Men

Every guy on this planet enjoys oral, but does ever once take into consideration how his female partner feels about  them? In short, probably not. Guys are too caught up in how amazing it all feels to really care about anything, least of all somebody's feelings. So it's time all of the fellas out there get schooled. Giving oral is something women do because they like their man, but it deserves some damn appreciation. So sit down, boys, and listen up. Here are things women wish straight men knew about performing oral sex on men.

Blow me. First of all, men everywhere need to understand that a female’s mouth is not some toy they can use at their disposal. Giving oral can be as sexy for us as it is for you men out there, but it needs to be approached with respect first and foremost. That being said, as fun as it can be, it can also be a damn pain.

Big mouth. Penises don’t have to be giant for them to necessarily hurt our mouths. When you have your mouth stretched open for a long enough time, it’s going to start bothering anyone, and that’s exactly what happens whenever head happens.

Time. Oral takes for-f*cking-ever. Seriously. It’s understandable that a guy has an easier time orgasming when he’s having sex because he can control how hard he “pumps,” but god dammit. Your beards are growing faster than the time it takes for those swimmers to hit the back of our throats.

Kinks in the neck. Giving oral hurts. When you’re repeatedly moving your head up and down for a long period of time, it takes a toll. So guys everywhere need to understand this. Give us some credit, because we deserve it. Also, pay for a massage session every time we do this…

Slurp. These awkward noises don’t make us feel sexy. At all. When we’re trying to be sexy, the idea of slurping and making choking noises makes us feel a little disgusting, to be honest. There’s nothing pretty about any of this.

Perspective. We’ve seen adult videos of women giving head, and they never look cute. Their mouth looks sucked in and their eyes make them look like deer in headlights. The point is, we know that this is what we look like, and we hate it.

Thirsty. We’re using a hell of a lot of saliva to make your penis feel good, and all of that spit usage is making us thirsty, dammit! So keep a glass of water at the ready. This is not our job. So, come on. Hop to it.

Face f*cking? No thank you. If we’re going to blow you, we’re going to blow you. You’re not allowed to hump our face like we’re talking vaginas. Have some freaking respect. It’s not sexy having anything pound into mouths, nor is it comfortable.

Gag. You know when you go to the doctor’s and they put that wooden stick into your mouth? Makes you gag a little, right? Well, imagine it much larger, much thicker and much deeper. That’s a d*ck. So give us a break, OK?

Jawsome. Though this may not be an actual fact, oral create serious issues with the jaw. You need to give your women more credit when they agree to risk the health of their jaws just to help you orgasm that salty nastiness into their mouths.

Choking. First of all, it’s pretty much impossible to suck a d*ck with a stuffy nose — for obvious reasons. So all of the hard work we’re doing needs to be recognized. Sometimes, we go for a long time feeling like we’re hardly getting enough air into our lungs to even breathe successfully.

Penis phlegm. Semen is essentially phlegm. Let’s all be perfectly honest. So let’s all stop pretending that swallowing your orgasm is sexy — because it’s not. It’s a sticky goo that shoots out of your penis. It’s not gold that’s falling out of heaven. Let’s all get some perspective, OK?

To swallow or not to swallow. The anxiety that comes with deciding whether to spit or swallow is more real than you can possibly imagine. It always happens so damn suddenly that our brain has to work on overtime. If we spit, the taste still lingers. If we swallow, it sticks to back of our throats. If we do neither, we risk getting hit in the face.

Don’t speak. Please stop asking us questions when we’re hard at work on you. We don’t want to stop sucking because we get it that it’ll ruin the build-up, but we also don’t want to try saying “Yeah, baby” with a giant c*ck in our mouths. It’s insulting.

What about me? Believe it or not, fellas, girls get horny too. So stop being selfish. Sure, we’ll blow. Whatever. We like you. But we can’t always do it till you come, because that’s not always going to happen (let’s be honest). At some point, we’re going to want to sit on that thang.

How Long Sex Should Last For Maximum Lady Enjoyment

You’ve heard them all. It was over in under a minute  —   tried to answer this question. Take a look below at what they found.

Length of sex. Meticulously put together by Zahra Barnes, GQ’s piece essentially asks the simple — yet multilayered — question: How long should sex last from a gal’s point of view? (Finally, something from GQ that’s for the ladies.)

Research. As Barnes points out, a study published in 2005 found that the median length of intercourse was a mere 5.4 minutes. Still, it should be noted that other research has found medians of up to 7.5 minutes, Rachel Hills, author of “The Sex Myth,” told New York magazine in 2015.

Missing factors. Sure, those numbers kind of make sense. But they leave out one important aspect of sex: foreplay. Not to mention, the research also only focuses on heterosexual couples, when, obviously, everyone isn’t only sleeping with others of the opposite sex.

More than just intercourse. "Sex is more than just intercourse, and the time you allot to it should include the time to generate arousal both mentally and physically," sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of "She Comes First," told SELF, according to Barnes. "That can mean lots of touching and foreplay, sharing a fantasy, reading erotica, watching [adult films] together, or roleplaying some sort of kinky scene,” Kerner added.

On the flip side… Is there such a thing as too quick, however? As Barnes highlights, a 2004 study published in the Journal of Sex Research that actually included foreplay found that couples were indulging in 11-13 minutes of foreplay, followed by 7-8 minutes of sex.

Levels of satisfaction. In comparison to the 2005 study, the numbers in the 2004 study sound absolutely marvelous — luxurious, even. Still, as Barnes notes, the participants weren’t satisfied with how long their romps were lasting. In fact, they wanted sex to last for double the time.

What the ladies want. In other words, it sounds like folks want 11-13 minutes of foreplay, followed by 14-16 minutes of intercourse. Fellas, we think that sounds totally doable — don’t you?

Reasons for the discrepancy. The discrepancy in the amount of time participants wanted in the study might simply come down to one partner not feeling 100 percent satisfied between the sheets, Barnes reports. "But some of it must definitely come down to people thinking they need to not only measure up to some societal sexual bar, but launch themselves over it like erotic pole vaulters, besting everyone else in the competition,” she adds.

Liable to change. But listen up, ladies and fellas: There’s absolutely no need to launch yourself over society’s sexual bar. Here’s why: Sex length is liable to change. In other words, it’s as fickle as love itself.

Kind of sex you want. "Sometimes you really want to have a quickie, sometimes you want to have really intense lovemaking, and sometimes you want to do something that's really fun and adventurous. The kind of sex you want to have affects the length of the sex,” Kerner told SELF.

Other frustrations. Obviously, if your frustrations regarding sex length surround something like your partner having a premature ejaculation or your ability to orgasm, that’s not the same thing. Subsequently, that’s something worth working on and talking about with your sexual partner.

Stress. At the end of the day (or lay, heh), stressing about how long things are lasting between the sheets is a surefire way to stretch things out even longer. In other words, worrying about how long — or quick— you’re taking isn’t going to help anyone’s pleasure levels in the long run. In fact, it’s only going to make it even harder to achieve orgasm.

Mutual pleasure. "Sex should definitely last long enough for both partners to achieve mutual pleasure, generally in the form of orgasm," said Kerner. Of course, since you don’t necessarily have to orgasm to achieve pleasure, the way you define it is entirely up to you.

Inhibiting pleasure. "A lot of women worry, especially when receiving oral sex, thinking, Is this taking too long? Are they enjoying themselves? How soon am I going to come?" said Kerner. "That kind of anxiety can really delay orgasm and inhibit pleasure.” It's important to not let that anxiety inhibit you, to inhibit your partner, stop you both from enjoying yourselves. Don't stress about time. Just enjoy what you have while you're having it.

Bottom line. The key to reaching climax in a time that feels comfortable to you? By simply letting go of your worries. As Barnes notes, an easy way to do this is by getting so turned on, that all higher-level brain functions basically, well, stop operating. "I always encourage couples to engage in as much outercourse as possible before intercourse,” said Kerner. "The more outercourse you engage in, hopefully the higher your level of arousal and the closer you get to orgasm."

Hottest Sex Positions, Ranked Based On How Long He’ll Last

Ever wondered what sex positions will make your partner last

Sex length. It’s no secret that how long you want your steamy session to last varies. For instance, there are often times where you want to speed through things— especially when “Game of Thrones” is about to come on. And then, well then there are times where you want to slow. things. down. Like, way down. So, what can you do?

Tips and trick. Fortunately, we’re here to help! Indeed, there are slew of ways you can make him a one-minute man on the spot. And conversely, there are a ton of ways you can make him go on and on and on. Curious? Perfect.

Research. Not too long ago, scientists from the University of Kentucky conducted a number of surveys on sexual dysfunction by asking over 14,000 men about their experiences between the sheets. The researchers also asked over 14,000 women about their sexual encounters to even things out.

Findings. So, what’d the researchers discover? After looking at the results, they pinpointed which sex positions men and women say lead to a quick finish — and which make things last all night long, according to Women’s Health. Isn’t science great? Yes, yes it is.

Breakdown. We know what you’re wondering: Exactly which sex positions made for quickies versus non-quickies? Don’t worry, we’ve got the breakdown. In fact, you’ll probably be surprised at what kinky set-ups made the cut. Ready?

Woman-on-top. A whopping percent of men and women surveyed said that the women-on-top position — a.k.a. cowgirl — led to longer intercourse. Just how many of the participants? Fifty-five percent — that’s over half!

Missionary. When it came to good ol’ missionary, 30 percent of men and women surveyed said that it led to longer sex. We believe it. Missionary can be a bit… well, tiring. (Read: Boring.) But some people think of missionary as intimate and close, so it depends on who is judging the position.

Side-by-side. What about spooning? How did the study’s participants feel about the ever-so sensual position? Apparently, 25 percent of men and women surveyed agreed that side-by-side sex led to a longer session between the sheets. Interesting.

Doggy style. Perhaps unsurprisingly, doggy style topped the list as the sex position that would make men finish the fastest. In fact, a measly 17 percent of men and women surveyed said the set-up resulted in longer lovin’. Like we said, unsurprising.

Overall… The study proves that there are clear winners and losers when it comes to sex positions and sex duration. But as Women’s Health points out, the study’s coauthor and New York City sex therapist, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of “She Comes First,” isn’t surprised at all by the findings.

Premature. According to Kerner, his male patients who have experienced premature ejaculation claim that woman-on-tip is optimal because of the fact that very little thrusting is involved. This, of course, is a good thing for men who suffer from pre-ejac. Why? Because too much thrusting can make a guy finish too soon.

Clitoral stimulation. Another perk of woman-on-top? It involves maximum clitoral stimulation. Kerner told Women’s Health: “… if a guy does ejaculate, there's still a good chance a woman will orgasm as he can continue to ride out what's left of the erection and still press against her clitoris.”

Base of penis. According to Women’s Health, the base of a man’s penis is the last area to go soft. This means that women can buy a little extra time while on top if they haven’t reached climax even after their partner has. You’re welcome, ladies.

Meanwhile... Doggy style was dubbed a loser position by the study due to the amount of friction it creates against a guy’s package. Per Women’s Health: “[Doggy style]… is a total bomb because it creates the most friction against his penis — and that usually speeds up ejaculation, says Kerner.” Not to mention, it also incorporates a ton of thrusting, which, as we mentioned earlier, leads to a quicker finish.

Switching things up. If you want to go the distance with your partner, try switching things up in the bedroom every once in a while. In other words, don’t stick to just one sex position — taste the rainbow, so to speak. But even so, unless you’ve got some catching up to do on your favorite Netflix series, take a raincheck on doggy. Trust us.

Ways To Turn Your Vagina Into A Sex Toy

Ever wondered how cool it would be if your vagina was a... um... sex toy? Well now you don't have to. Turns out, there are a slew of ways you can transform nature's pocket into a bonafide sex toy. And why wouldn't you? Seriously, sex toys are not only pleasurable, they're reliable too. In other words, they never fail in providing you your partner with an orgasm —  or two. So if you want to learn more on how you can turn your vagina into a sex toy, read on below.

Jiggle balls. Ever heard of jiggle balls? Probably not. Nonetheless, the sex toy sensation is exactly what it sounds like: two balls attached to a string that you place inside your vagina. Don’t worry, ladies — it’s not painful.

Jiggle balls. Once inside, the balls, well, jiggle, offering next-level orgasms. According to sex toy site Lovehoney, the balls "give your pelvic floor a workout” and strengthen “your vaginal muscles leading to more intense sensations during sex and stronger orgasms too.” Um, count us in.

Love eggs. Next up are love eggs. Yes, love eggs. Not only are these bad boys a lot more pleasurable than jiggle balls, they vibrate as well! For the most part, they work the same way as jiggle balls — just with a lot more pleasure.

Love eggs. Just how well do love eggs work? Pretty well, apparently. According to a contributor on MissVibrator.com: "The ones I use have strong vibrations and they make me orgasm within minutes. Really worth investing in, you'll have a tighter, healthier vagina in no time.” Sounds good to us!

Underwear. Vibrating underwear, that is. While they may sound a bit bizarre, vibrating bottoms are definitely one of the most intriguing sex toys on the market — and pleasurable. Seriously, if you like the thrill of danger and the risk of public orgasms, these are for you.

Underwear. But that’s not to say you have to wear these out in public. In fact, there’s also a thrill in slipping these on at home and giving your partner the remote control. Let him have a go at controlling your big O — trust us, if you like to be teased and/or dominated, you’ll be begging for more.

Underwear. This is also a fantastic way to start a super intense romp session with. Per MissVibrator.com: “[Vibrating underwear] will make foreplay easy... Then it’s his turn to get his pleasure and you’ll be surprised how amazing sex feels after you’ve been made that way.” Hot.

Lube. Sexual lubricant is a must when it comes to transforming your vagina into a bonafide sex toy. The right amount of lube can make intercourse much, much more enjoyable for both partners — heck, even science says so! In fact, there are a slew of studies that have found that sex with lube revs up the pleasure by eons.

Lube. Beyond doubling the pleasure, incorporating lube into your sexual repertoire also has a ton of other benefits. "If you have any kind of vaginal dryness — whether naturally, due to medical complications or just because you're post menopause — lube is like a gift,” Dr. Dorree Lynn told YourTango. "Sex becomes so much easier with it."

Lube. There’s also flavored lube! “Flavored lubes can make oral sex much more fun, and are safer than using whipped cream or honey, which can cause infection,” Charlie Glickman, Ph.D., told YourTango. In other words, if you’re aiming to transform your love-box into a tasty, um, meal… well, you know what to do.

Kegels. Simply put, do them. Kegel exercises strengthen your PCs, muscles that contract when you orgasm. So the better shape they’re in, the bigger, better climaxes you’ll experience. See where we’re going with this?

Kegels. Not only will your orgasms be more powerful, however — your “grip” will also be tighter! In other words, the stronger your muscles down below are, the hotter, wilder sex will be for both you and your partner. Best of all? Kegels are super easy to do, and can transform your vagina from bleh to full-blown sex machine in a matter of weeks.

Kegels. Here’s how to do them: First, find your pelvic floor muscles. To identify them, stop urination in midstream. Once you’ve found them, tighten them, holding the contraction for five seconds and then relaxing for five. Try it four to five times in a row, working up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time. Repeat three times a day, aiming for at least three sets of 10 repetitions.

Techniques. Second to last step in transforming your vagina into a certified sex toy? Honing in on some sexy techniques. Whether it’s perfecting certain positions (hello, cowgirl) or tidying up your BJ game, turning your nether regions into a sexual playground is all about practice. Pro tip: Focus on your movements and rhythm. And remember, if you’re unsure about anything, Google is your friend.

Confidence. If you think your vagina is as good as a sex toy, guess what? It will be. Seriously, having a great, O-filled time between the sheets is all about confidence. The more open, communicative, and sure of yourself you are in the bedroom, the sexier you’ll come off to your partner. Not to mention, to yourself too. *Wink*