Ways You Can Now If You’re the Controlling One in Your Relationship

There are countless articles out there to help you realize if your relationship is toxic or not. Most of them are about recognizing abusive behavior in your partner. But what happens if you’re the problem in your relationship? We’ll take a look at the signs you can watch for to ensure that you’re not the person that’s making your relationship toxic.

Mixed Bag. Relationships are a mixed bag. There will always be ups and downs, but with the right partner, you weather almost anything together. But what if every relationship you;ve been in has had far more lows?

The Problem. And then there are the times where you are the toxic one. It can be incredibly hard to admit when you are the problem for various reasons. Maybe you refuse--or are unable--to see it.

Toxic. Toxic relationships affect a lot of people and can have some pretty lasting consequences on you. Sometimes it’s the other person who is bringing the relationship down. Other times the only way you and your partner can work together is when you’re tearing each other down.

Control. Many people have control issues. They only like things done a specific way or want to be the only voice in their relationship. We’ll take a look at some of the signs that you might be the controlling one in your relationship so you can hopefully learn to be better.

Recognizing. But for those who worry that they might be the problem and want to do something to fix it--you’re in luck. Recognizing the problem and working hard to fix your behavior can help make you a better, less toxic partner.

Things Have to Go Your Way. Who doesn’t like it when things go their way? Well, most people are still pretty good at compromising. If you’re controlling you probably hate it when things don’t go your way. You may pout, act out, or even manipulate your partner to get them to go with your choice instead.

You’re Withholding. SpoonMeetSpoon’s dating expert and coach Meredith Golden told Elite Daily that if you find yourself doing this, there’s a simple solution. “Telling someone they 'look nice' or did a 'good job' can make someone feel noticed and it's a completely free gesture. Get in the habit of telling your person something positive each day.”

You Get in the Way of Their Friendships. It’s okay to not like your partner’s friends, and it’s definitely okay to say that. But you cannot try to dictate who your partner is allowed to who your partner can hang out with. If you have a problem with your partner’s friends be open and honest about it and work to come up with a solution.

You Don’t Respect Their Privacy. You and your partner might share your lives, but you’re each allowed to have some semblance of privacy. If you’re controlling you may wonder what they’re up to when they’re not with you.

You Don’t Respect Their Privacy. This can lead you down a slippery slope to checking their phones and messages. The cause could be that you have some trust issues that you haven’t discussed with your partner yet. Take the time to open up before you do something you’ll regret.

You Edit Their Emotions. It can be hard to hear that your partner is upset with you, but that doesn’t mean you can tell them how they feel. Controlling people tend to invalidate their partner’s emotions, which quickly becomes gaslighting--which is a manipulation tactic that leaves a victim questioning their sanity.

You Edit Their Emotions. “We have no right to tell them what they should feel. Doing so is indicative of control issues, and ones designed for our comfort,” Winter explained to Elite Daily. If your partner is struggling try to listen to them and accept them, no matter how hard it may be.