Things No One Ever Tells New Mothers About Postpartum Vaginas

Wondering what will happen to your vagina after having a baby?  Like, how — and when — will it recover?  Not to mention, how will sex and orgasms feel?  Don’t panic!  In order to get some answers, we decided to turn to the experts:  Women who have already been there.  Per Reddit, women reveal the things no one ever tells new mothers about postpartum vaginas.

User “scannycat.” "I have delivered two children vaginally. Directly after birth, its a mess down there. So much that you'll be given a bottle to squirt yourself clean rather than wipe. And it will take the whole 6 weeks until you'll want to try to evaluate it.

During the first birth I was torn but stitched back up. I'm the sort of woman who has spent a decent amount of time using a mirror to see what is going on down there. Visually, it looks almost completely the same. You can only see a very small amount of asymmetry where the skin healed from my stitches but you'd have to have really known what to look for to notice.”

User “scannycat.” "As to how it ‘performs' it also seems to be exactly the same. I have always done intermittent kegels and my husband says that he can't tell the difference. He could be trying to preserve his life, but the fact that he still achieves orgasm in the same amount of time would seem to back his claim up. Sex is still just as pleasurable to me.

The one thing that some women will experience that is a bummer is some temporary or in rare cases permanent urinary incontinence. I developed some and it took months of kegels to prevent myself from peeing every time I sneezed or laughed. But a stringent kegel routine has eliminated this problem.”

User “Someenglishrose.” "Speaking for myself... my vulva changed a lot during pregnancy, when it became really red and puffy because of the increased blood flow. It went completely back to normal within three days of giving birth, which I am sooo happy about. My vagina is also pretty much how it was, except I have a little bump from the scar where they stitched me up. The thing that is way different, though, is my cervix. It used to be so high up I couldn't reach it with a finger, but since having the baby it has dropped way down. First time I felt it, I was all 'WTF is this thing in my vagina?’Took a while to figure out that it wasn't something that had somehow gotten left behind!"

User “ThePolemicist.” "I tore a lot with my first born. I tore to my anus, and it took months to heal. Before it fully healed (about 10 months), it was really painful sitting and going to the bathroom.

After delivery, I asked my doctor not to sew me up too tight. I was worried about it being too tight down there later, and I didn't want it to be painful. She said, 'Usually it's the husbands who ask me that!' Go figure. Anyway, sex was a lot better after delivery. Well, not immediately! After childbirth, you can't have sex for about 8 weeks, and even then, you probably won't want to (in my experience) for a little while longer. But the skin around the entrance to my vagina was no longer too tight. Some positions that used to be uncomfortable no longer were.”

User “ThePolemicist.” "After the birth of my second child, things bounced back much more quickly. I only had a superficial tear that required a single stitch. Healing took no time at all! I still bled for weeks and weeks and weeks (I bled about 10 weeks after each birth). But after that, I was good to go physically! In my experience, the vagina is tighter post-childbirth than before childbirth for a while. I think most women who go through childbirth will tell you that. It takes a little bit for things to relax down there again.

I don't think my scarring was that bad. I never really looked, and my husband hasn't said anything. I've heard of some women saying their scarring was bad.”

User “colesmomma.” "Normal is different after you've had a vaginal birth. I have had two 9 pound, almost 10 pounds for one, babies vaginally. I am almost 4 weeks out with the second and things are not the same - I have basically no feeling because of the stretching and the small tear. With my first, there was no pain, we just had to find new positions that worked better with me being less sensitive during actual intercourse. I do kegels like a crazy person so if you are pregnant now -- keep those up. And everything is still swollen down there externally but I am sure with losing weight and getting active again, everything else should go back to normal size."

User “FluffernutterJess.” "My vagina has not changed a whole lot physically. Easier to orgasm, happier with quickies though. And, decidedly less pubic hair. Stretch marks in funny places left me with a slightly mangey looking bush LOL.”

User “decemburrr.” "I gave birth four weeks ago. No tearing or stitches. It was my second delivery (first time I teared and had stitches). It takes time for everything to be completely normal again. Having sex is painful at first but gets better over time. My boyfriend said he didn't notice a difference each time. But as for my vulva (I've never discussed this with other women) after delivery it seems to have shrunk. Probably because everything gets so swollen during pregnancy. This happened last time too and it will go back to normal too over time. I give it 6-8 weeks for everything to return to normal.

Another thing I've never discussed with anyone is when I get initially aroused I get a weird pressure/pain behind my clit area that fades away quickly. It happened both times as well and it lasted a very long time before, probaby 8months to a year. I don't know what it is but I thought I'd share. Maybe other women can relate."

User “cordial_carbonara.” "I've had two children, both very different experiences. 1 - She was 9 lbs 3 oz, I had a second degree tear. I had to use a peri bottle to pee for at least 3 weeks, and thanks to pitocin (aka the devil's juice) my entire body was sore as well. I didn't get the courage to look down there for 2 months, and it wasn't too bad. My labia minora were a little longer, but I wasn't too upset because they were almost nonexistent previously. So at 9 weeks pp I decided to try to have sex. HOLY CRAP IT HURT. It felt like he was ripping me apart. We couldn't have sex until a good 4 months pp, and it was probably 6 months before it actually felt good. Looks-wise, though, it was pretty much normal."

User “cordial_carbonara.” "2 - She was a completely natural birth. 9 lbs 11 oz, ZERO tearing. I got up off the floor right after I delivered the placenta (home birth) and felt 100% better. There was no pain, really, just a little raw feeling kinda like after too much sex. I actually looked at her later that day and it looked almost normal. Red, and a little stretched out, but that rectified itself within a couple days. I was done bleeding and ready to go at 2 weeks pp, and it felt AMAZING. Better than ever. Apparently things got moved around just right, because I can orgasm easier now than I ever could before.

Basically, everyone and every birth is different. But our vaginas are built to withstand childbirth over and over again. It's amazingly elastic tissue.”

User “Started_Over_At_48.” "Man Here...! I DO NOT have a vagina, but I have vast experience with my wife's, so that kinda makes me an expert witness. I have a couple of thoughts to share, if that's OK:

1) Certified Nurse Midwives are Awesome! My wife and I had three children, all delivered vaginally, all using Certified Nurse Midwives. I was with my wife through every minute of every birth. We were blessed that each went well. She followed the healing instructions from the Midwives, and several weeks later, she was feeling pretty normal. She did have a few rough spots, but otherwise the plumbing worked great after each birth. br>
Regarding my wife's 'vaginal aesthetics'... I almost knew her vagina better than she did, and she certainly was never able to inspect it as closely and thoroughly as I. It always looked pretty good to me... and I NEVER remember a time where I said to her, 'Gosh honey, where did your OTHER vagina go?' Seriously, it looked like hers, tasted like hers and felt like hers, which was all I wanted.”

User “Started_Over_At_48.” "2) The birth of our children did not adversely effect our sex lives, it only delayed it each time, and just for a short while. Did her vaginal canal stay as tight as when we were dating, before children? No, but the change was minor. Frankly, I didn't expect it to be the same size, nor did I care that it wasn't. Maybe I'm weird but, when making love - or even having sex - I'm honestly never really focusing on the vaginal opening's diameter as a factor that affects my pleasure to any significant degree. It is ALL in the bond I have formed with my partner. Maybe it's the same with woman and penis size? But I won't go near THAT one.”

User “RachelSoma.” "Mine didn't go back to the old "normal". Sex is different and even after two years I experience some pain during... well, during doggy style. It used to be one of my fave positions, too.”

User “MsDirtDigger.” "I would have to agree, that it varies per individual. I can say that, after delivering a 9lb 14oz baby 19 months ago, I am totally back to normal. For a while, it just seemed a little loose. My husband has zero complaints; when I asked him about it specifically, he says that he can't tell.

My mama friends and I have discussed at length. We all had vaginal deliveries (all first-timers), and all went back to as normal as possible. After childbirth, nothing is really the same anyway, right? For the better I'd say. :)”