Study Finds That People Are Sexually Experimenting At Younger Ages

Parents, lock your daughters in their bedrooms.  Ground your sons.  Keep them under constant surveillance.  I'm talking about 8pm curfews.  Why?  Because teens are having sex.  And not just the way. Somehow, America's youth has learned about the sinful pleasures of things like oral and (gasp!) anal sex.  Who told them?! How do we stop this?  What is happening?  Teenagers, you stop it, and you stop it this instant!  You're not supposed to have oral sex until you're at least 30.

What are your thoughts on the matter? Sound off in the comments section! 

Naughty kids. A recent study was done on sexual health and it's bad news all around. Heterosexual teen couples are not only having sex, but they're experimenting. That's right. They're doing butt stuff.

Butt stuff. No, our generation didn't invent butt stuff. I think it was probably the ancient Greeks, or maybe it was the Romans? Either way, it's been around since at least the 70s.

However... The fact of the matter is, teens are doing butt stuff at a much younger age than generations before them. So uh, what gives? Is this a Millennial thing?

Less of a stigma. Anal sex has always been a tricky topic. Yes, of course it's something that gay couples enjoy. Evidently, it took straight people a little while to catch on.

Virginity. Teens aren't losing their virginities younger than previous generations, interestingly. So, maybe they just like to change things up. Who knows?

Oral sex. And why on Earth are younger and younger teens having oral sex? Actually, this one kind of makes sense. Oral sex is slightly safer, in terms of pregnancy, than having intercourse.

Sexual myths. There are still quite a few sexual myths floating around. For example, you can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up (false). You can't get pregnant if you have sex in a swimming pool (false). You can't get pregnant if you have sex WITH a swimming pool (true).

When do teens get naughty? In the US, teenage guys typically lose their virginity at 16, and for girls, 17. And for the members of the chess team...23. Sorry, chess team.

Catholic virgins. There is also the bizarre concept of Catholic virgins. That's where you do everything but engage in vaginal intercourse. So, oral? Totally cool. Butt stuff? Totally fine, as far as Jesus is concerned.

Sweden. Reportedly, teens in Sweden lose their virginity at around 13. That seems awfully young. Maybe it's all that IKEA furniture or something.

Sex before marriage. What percentage of teens have sex before marriage? Pssht, good luck getting an accurate answer on that one. Most teen guys claim to be worldly lovers by age 17, so...

Sexually transmitted diseases. For a while, sexually transmitted diseases were on the rise among teens. Infection rates appear to have slowed, which is great. No joking about this - please continue to practice safe sex.

Teen pregnancy. Teen pregnancy rates are also down, based on national averages. Good job, guys! You must be having sex in swimming pools! Just kidding.

Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is a great resource for teen girls. If you have questions about birth control, safe sex, or anything else that has to do with your sexual health, they will help you out. You don't need an adult to accompany you, which makes it a lot easier for girls to make much needed appointments.

Knock it off, you two! So, in conclusion, teens seem to be getting a little more sexually adventurous. And, as long as they're safe, there's nothing wrong with that. Have fun, guys, just be good to each other, and follow all the rules when it comes to consent. Respect your partner. And never, ever sexually exploit someone else. It will come back and bite you in the ass real hard.